Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!

At the moment, I’m preparing to become a teacher. I’ve never really seen myself doing anything else, and I like to think that’s because I’ve been blessed throughout my life with a truly wonderful assortment of teachers. For Teacher Appreciation Week, I thought I’d thank a few of those special people.

Mrs. Davis (kindergarten)… I’m so thankful for the frog-covered room and the singing and the constant kindness, even for the little girl who cried all the time. There could have been no one better to learn from during my first year of “real” school.

Ms. Smith (4th grade)… On my last day, Ms. Smith (who, I believe, is actually Mrs. Chattin) left a letter for me with my report card, encouraging me to grow and overcome my own perfectionist tendencies, to become my own person, and reminding me that others’ opinions don’t matter nearly as much as I think they do. I have not forgotten the care in that letter. I can only hope that one day I might encourage a student in the same way.

Mrs. Wrather (7th-8th grade science)… It is entirely likely that, despite a plethora of good science teachers, Mrs. Wrather is the only one to have ever managed to convince me that I like science. Her excitement in carefully explaining the simpler aspects of physical science have stuck with me throughout my educational journey– so much so that I continue to shock people when I reveal that I prefer chemistry to biology.

Mrs. Knight (8th grade language arts)… Despite the fact that I certainly did not stand out in her classroom (I mostly stuck to myself in the back row during middle school), Mrs. Knight continues to remember little old me. She was even kind enough to allow me to observe her classroom a few weeks ago, helping me with my decision to go into education.

Mr. Nance (9th-11th grade English)… Universally adored, Mr. Nance still makes every student feel welcome in his classroom. I was lucky enough to sit in his class for three years, and I sincerely regret not appreciating his brilliance while his student. It continues to amaze me that he is able to instill a love for literature in what seems like each and every one of his students. His passion drives his class and inspires me to someday become even half the teacher he is.

Ms. Smith, Ms. Warner and Mr. Jessup, Ms. DeBoer (the music teachers)… Even though I’m no longer playing horn, I continue to carry with me the lessons learned throughout my years studying music. I cannot begin to thank these people enough. Their confidence in me– from Ms. Smith pulling me aside and reminding me that I can succeed to Ms. DeBoer’s graceful understanding when I made the decision to I leave the department at MTSU– has blessed my life in more ways than they can ever know.

Sarah Warren… Sarah has never been my teacher, but I proudly call her my pseudo-sibling. Sarah has inspired me more than simply as a teacher, but I am thankful to have Sarah the Teacher in my life in addition to Sarah my Sister, Sarah the Mother, Sarah the Wife, Sarah the Disciple.

There have been countless others, about every one of whom I could say a kind word. (Well, most of them, anyway.) If I could speak to every teacher I’ve had over the past twenty years, I would thank each of them for inspiring me along the way. I hope that one day I am able to bless even one student in the same way that these special people have blessed me.

My roaring twenties

Yesterday, I turned twenty. Twenty years, can you believe it? It’s not a long time. I’m still awfully young.

I have a lot of complaints. I’m ready to be older, as I have been for most of my life and will probably be for a while yet. The past year and a half or so haven’t been my best, and sometimes I’m so filled with disappointment, I could burst. I have to keep reminding myself that your college years don’t have to be your best years.

Yesterday, I had to work most of the day and then I threw up my special dinner. (Was that too much information?) Perhaps not the best birthday I’ve ever had. (Though let’s be honest, it will be hard to ever beat my Sweet Sixteen surprise party.) But it wasn’t all bad.

I received two cards in the mail in as many days.
Plenty of beloved friends wished me cyber-happy birthdays.
A girl in my religion class gave me a donut (along with the other two girls celebrating birthdays).
My “big gift” was a Blu-ray player… with a Netflix button. Yeah.
Mom gave me a card to make me weepy and watched “Asylum of the Daleks” with me.
My sister gave me beautiful treble clef ring and my grandmother gave me the perfect cross necklace.

(The clef is backwards because webcam.)

So I think I’ll probably look back on it as a good start to my “roaring twenties.” Yes, that’s what I’ll call these years. My roaring twenties. May they be filled with fewer complaints and more joy.

Here’s to the third decade of my life. May it be a good one.

Dreams

This past weekend, I visited a friend in Knoxville. I thought the drive would mostly consist of me singing “Carry On Wayward Son” at the top of my lungs, but God had other plans. 

If I’m in the car alone, I sing. Loudly and without an ounce of shame. When I was halfway to Knoxville and yearning for something I knew all the words to, I popped BarlowGirl’s first CD in.

For me, BarlowGirl’s music brings back a lot of good memories. Middle school winter retreats and long talks with old friends I haven’t talked to in years. Good food and highlighted Bible verses.

If you know BarlowGirl’s music, you know that while it is occasionally cheesy (see “Clothes”), it is altogether incredibly poignant. Listening to the sisters’ lyrics as I drove through east Tennessee really got me.

I’ve been struggling with giving up my own plans. I’m a chronic planner– always have been. One of the most difficult things in my life is accepting God’s will when it doesn’t exactly match up with my own. I keep repeating Jeremiah 29:11 to myself, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough.

I am afraid I will never amount to anything. That teaching English is frivolous. That I’ll never meet anyone. That I’ll spend the rest of my life wishing I could just find a friend. That I’ll regret not pushing myself harder in college. That my life won’t mean anything.

Surrender, surrender, You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know, but can’t You see?
My dreams are me
+ “Surrender” by BarlowGirl

As I was listening to these words, it took everything in me not to cry. Of course, I know others have felt this, but there is something about BarlowGirl’s way of putting it. Isn’t this what I’ve been feeling the past two years? My little sparkling dreams sitting in my hands as I huddle them closer to me, hesitant to give them up for God’s even bigger, even sparklier plans. (I know we’re getting into cheesy territory, but this did start with BarlowGirl.)

God is good and kind and His plans are plans to prosper me. Day by day, I’m seeing those plans unfold. I’m learning to trust God. I’m waiting for the peace I know will come. I’m not entirely ready yet, but I’m getting there.

When I’m a teacher…

I think I’ve always known I wanted to teach. I went through a doctor/lawyer phase, and for a while I was convinced that I would one day be playing for a major symphony orchestra. But, really, I always knew I was going to be a teacher. (And for all of the nay-sayers who think I’m going to make a grumpy old teacher, well, boo you.)

I’ve still got three years of school left (ugh), so I don’t exactly feel close to actually starting my career. But, in classic Melody fashion, I have already started planning. I’ve started a “teaching ideas” board on Pintrest and I’m reading education blogs and I’ve started a special folder on my computer full of suggestions for the day when I’m actually standing at the front of a classroom.

I had a really great English teacher in high school (who I did not appreciate until it was too late, of course) and I can still remember what he said to us on our first day, something I found irritating then, but has resonated with me since: It’s not all black and white. I look forward to the opportunity to remind my own students of that one day. I’ve also begun to look forward to a few other things. For example,

I cannot wait to…

… assign book reports. I am so excited about book reports.

… have summers off. (That’s still gonna be a thing, right?)

… find a way to utilize Buffy the Vampire Slayer in a lesson on storytelling.

… force my students to act out scenes from Shakespeare.

… nitpick over the little grammatical errors in students’ papers.

… have a teacher bag. Teacher bags are awesome.

… show Boy Meets World for my homeroom every morning before class starts.

… keep a tea pot for those tea-drinking students who will inevitably be my favorites.

… start an after-school book club.

… teach a unit on Dracula. (I can do that, right? Even if I end up teaching middle school?)

… go home every night knowing that I chose the right path.

Also, I’m completely aware that being a teacher probably won’t be exactly like I think it will (more paperwork and annoying children), but let me dream for the next three years, huh?

Sunday Links: March 2013

In honor of Women’s History Month…

All about Women’s History Month

“The F-Word: Why Feminism Is Not the Enemy” by Amy Lepine Peterson

There is certainly no denying that some aspects of some feminisms have had negative effects in our culture and are contrary to our faith.  But the truth is that many feminists disagree with each other and critique each other, so to use the word “feminism” without any qualification communicates nothing.  We don’t need to agree with all aspects of all feminisms to agree with the one foundational tenet that all feminisms hold in common: the idea that women and men are created equal. In fact, as Christians, in the Bible we have the strongest philosophical framework for defining the full personhood of women.

“Looking Back At 100 Years Of Woman’s Suffrage” for The National Memo

Anti-suffrage cartoon

“In which I present 50 Church and Faith Lady-Bloggers” by Sarah Bessey… This is a great compilation of some women faith bloggers, many of whom I read regularly and love. If you’re really into women faith bloggers, here’s a list of 1,362 (and counting).

Colorized images of women building war planes in the 1940s enhanced for the Shorpy Historical Photo Archive.

Julie Clawson’s “Discovering Christian Feminism”, though an older series, is absolutely brilliant. If you’re wondering what I’ve been reading about for the past few months, this is a good start.

Now reading…

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova… I just started this, but I’m already excited. Give me any book with vampires in it and I’m good to go!

“I Am a Scholar; Is There Room in the Church for ME?” by Krista Dalton

I have no grand scholastic contribution with this post. I have no scathing critique and/or answers for the Church. Instead, I give you my story. I allow myself to be vulnerable and share how the words of so many Christian leaders in my life have deeply affected me. I expose to you the inner voice, planted within me time after time, that tells me there is no place in the church for me.

“Strength Will Rise As You Wait, My Daughter” by Megan Gahan for SheLoves Magazine

I was still me with strawberry stains on my apron, an empty bank account, and not one drop of pride left in my pride tank. In fact, I was more me than I had ever allowed myself to be before. Because I wasn’t relying on anyone—or anything—to tell me I was enough.

“Why the Church Should Quiet Down” by Shawn for A Deeper Church

But this is what I have learned during my very short period of trying to lessen the noise: there is power in occasionally practicing the discipline of silence. When we choose silence, we choose to relinquish control. We are forced to listen unconditionally. A stillness gathers, a groundswell of peace that will eventually overpower the noise.

Now watching…

Supernatural… Now that I’m caught up through the most current episode, I think it’s safe to say that I’m hooked on this show. Mom’s jumped on the wagon too!

Identity Thief… Can we all just talk about how incredibly wonderful Melissa McCarthy is? From Gilmore Girls to whatever comes next, I love that woman. (Identity Thief was also helped by the massive crush I have for Jason Bateman.)

Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax… This was adorable! (Slightly problematic, but still!) I’m already planning on making my kids watch this so that they turn out to be adorable little tree-hugging toddler environmentalists.

Bonus round…

“A Princess Bride wedding channeling Westley and Buttercup themselves” at Offbeat Bride

If you read nothing else I share, read this:

“An Open Letter to the Church: How to Love the Cynics” by Addie Zierman at How To Talk Evangelical

We need you to fight for us.

We need to be more than a number, an attendance card in the offering plate. A statistic.

We need you to come to where we are.

Come out of the church offices and the Christian bookstores. Turn off the local Christian radio station and hear us.

(Sometimes, I think that’s all it would’ve taken for me. Some church stranger to sit down next to me and just say, How are you really doing? Not, You really ought to join the women’s ministry. Not, Just get plugged in! Just How are you doing? Just someone interested in just listening. Just someone to mean it.)

Welcoming Serenity

I’ve been sick for the past ten-ish days, but I’m almost back to 100% Melody, so what better than a new post to celebrate my new (to me) car!

Forgive my mismatched socks.

For those of you who don’t know (or, for those of you who aren’t Facebook friends with Mom), I bought an adorable little Honda Accord on Friday. This was a big deal, as I hate spending money on anything that isn’t a book. But we got a great deal, thanks to my parents and their insistence on price (I think I might be the type who will end up paying sticker price someday– I can’t say no!) and I absolutely love my new car.

I’m calling her “Serenity.” Get the reference? Probably not, but here’s her namesake:

See the resemblance?

Welcoming Serenity means saying goodbye to my first car, whose name (which did exist despite lack of use) was “Kennedy” (after the president– I did in fact debate naming Serenity “Jefferson” to create a tradition).

Driving up to my surprise party…

Kennedy was a gold Nissan Altima, a sweet 16 gift from my parents. (That’s the best sweet 16 gift a kid can get, let me tell you.) My sweet 16 was full of surprises, from my party…

Seeing everyone at my surprise sweet 16. (Photo credit: assorted friends)

to Kennedy herself. A couple of months before my birthday, on a Thursday night when I had just been let out of Murfreesboro Youth Orchestra rehearsal, Mom and Dad presented to me my big gift. I remember being in a bad mood, because Dad was not where he usually picked me up at. I called him, frustrated like I get, and demanded to know where he was. He let me know that they were in front of Wright, not Saunders, so there I headed. There was laughter in the background of the call.

I saw Mom’s car first. Then I saw Mom and Dad (I don’t remember if DeAnna was there or not…) and then several of my friends from rehearsal. I had no idea what was going on. My friends were standing around giggling and Mom looked like she was about to cry. Dad proceeded to point to an incredibly beaten up and terribly ancient car (I’m pretty sure it was missing a wheel or two) and said, “There’s your car.” At this point, I had already noticed the little Altima sitting behind Mom’s car, but my heart skipped at least two beats.

Kennedy was a good car. We had a lot of great memories. It was a good four years together. Here’s to Kennedy, here’s to Serenity!

(And, yes, Mom did cry upon the gifting of my first car.)

Looking back

I went through a spring cleaning of my Internet life when I first got my laptop. I really thought I got rid of most everything I could, including old blogs, old emails, etc. Turns out I didn’t.

I am so thankful.

I found my old blog– the only one that’s ever lasted more than a month or two (other than this one). I went through and read a lot of it (there’s less than 50 posts total, and most of them are pretty short). So right now I’m feeling a bit nostalgic and sad. My life has been so blessed. Right now, I’m so full of bitterness that I forget that. This old blog of mine helped me to remember.

I’ll get through it. I’ll get through these days. Even if this darkness lasts another two years, I’ll be okay.

Sorry to be so depressing. Want to lighten the mood? Here’s an old post from April 23, 2010…

life is good.

My 8-year-old cousin B tells a lot of stories.
He always gets this look on his face- “Listen to me!”
His eyebrows are raised, his hands move a lot,
He walks in circles and jumps up and down,
And, with plent of and’s and um’s,
He tells his story-
And it is always the best story EVER.

This might seem like a silly, immature thing-
But I really wish I was like that.
I wish that I saw life as story after story,
Every one more dramatic that the last.
B tells things the way he sees them.
I think that’s the best part of it all-
He really, actually is that excited.

I’m too melodramatic.
I’m too prone to overreact.
I’m too easily frustrated.
I’m too sarcastic.

“I finally came to grips that my life may not be legit
And I haven’t ever felt this good in years.”
-Actions Not Words, Crash Romeo

So-
I will laugh more.
I will talk to God all the time.
I will listen to the Ting Tings often.

Life is too happy to be sad all the time.

My Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is on Thursday. (Maybe I should go all Liz Lemon and call it Anna Howard Shaw Day?) As someone who has never dated, it’s always been a non-holiday for me. When DeAnna and I were little, Mom and Dad bought us chocolate and toys. But in high school, it just never became an issue. Most of my friends had boyfriends, so I guess they did stuff– but to be totally honest, I don’t remember. My point is that it’s never been a really important holiday to me. (I mean, we’re not talking about Thanksgiving here.)

Anyway, this year I decided to do something for myself. I’m having a miserable time with all of these upper-divisions this semester. So– on Saturday because I’m too busy on Thursday and Friday– I’m going to take a day for myself. (Because I never do that… *sarcasm*)

The grand plan?

• Sleep in.
• For breakfast, fix something special. There’s a snickerdoodle recipe Mom’s been wanting to try.
• Pack up a lunch and head out.
• Get my nails done, but not at the place I usually go to– they’re rude. (Any suggestions?)
• Stop at the Greenway for lunch (because this unseasonably and horribly warm weather will certainly allow for that).
• Head over to JC Penney’s because I have a giftcard and I’ve been needing black flats for church.
• Maybe wander around the mall– inevitably I’ll end up in Books-a-Million, where I’ll let myself buy books that I don’t need and will probably never read.
• Leave from there to the movie theater to see Beautiful Creatures (an obvious choice– I’m a sucker for anything set in the Deep South and for anything fantasy-related).
• Go home.
• Ignore my homework– no, not even think about it.
• Watch as many episodes of Supernatural as I want before I fall asleep and not feel guilty about it.

Sound good? Maybe not to you, but that’s okay. Don’t worry– I’m not going to pull an Ann Perkins or anything. But it’s Valentine’s and I have a little disposable income, so why not have a day?

Happy Valentine’s Day
Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day, from me to you!

(These probably aren’t helping my “I’m not completely hopeless” case, but they’re just so wonderful I can’t help myself.)

Sonic Sunday #2

You need to read (on the Internet):

“John and Hank Green and Falling in Love With the World” by Jen Doll for The Atlantic Wire

And yet so much of what one sees targeted to young readers (and some of the things grownups say and think about kids) seems to underestimate their intelligence or just, somehow, be a bit off. Contrary to that is the incredible, palpable affection I witnessed from fans of John and Hank, an affection that expands to include anyone or anything John and Hank like, love, or respect. If there is something to be learned in terms of book publishing from this event, it’s don’t talk down to your audience. Be honest and authentic. Be talented (of course). But also have fun.

“666 on tax form makes man quit job to save soul” via The Tennessean

This isn’t the first time that the Satanic number has caused Slonopas trouble at work.

You need to watch (TV):

Supernatural… I know, I know. I’ve already mentioned this enough on the blog. But, seriously– this show is so good. I wasn’t sure if I would like it or not, after my disappointment in Doctor Who (that isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy Doctor Who; I did, just not nearly as much I wanted to). But I have fallen in love with it. I actually had to take a break from watching because I became so invested that I began internally sobbing at the very mention of Dean Winchester’s name. Let’s not even get started on the tears that (still) flow every time I hear “Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas.

You need to read (books):

I’ve been stuck reading for classes (Homer and Virgil, primary documents from Salem 1692, Aphra Behn), so I’ve gotten way behind on my reading goal. I’ve been reading Francine River’s and the Shofar Blew for a few weeks (read: it’s been sitting on my bedside table), and I’m really enjoying it! Other than that, I’ve spent my recreational time reading– don’t judge me– Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 (first volume, excellent; second volume, ehh; feeling hopeful for the third and fourth).

You need to watch (on the Internet):

Christopher Salmon’s adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s short story “The Price”

Any videos on The Brain Scoop with Emily Grasile… This new channel, produced by the likes of Hank Green, is wonderful. If you’re not already watching this (and if you are wont to, then you probably already are), you should be.

You need to listen to:

Kim Walker-Smith’s Here Is My Song… This is a praise album, but not like Chris Tomlin. It’s a bit less produced– you can hear the crowd in the background, though it doesn’t have a distinctly “live” feel to it. However, it’s her “spontaneous songs” that make the album! Following each regular track, there is a second derivative track that is completely improvised. The result is incredible. If you ignore all of my suggestions, at least check out this one!
Favorite tracks: “Spontaneous Song 2″ and “Open Up Heaven”

Bonus round:

“These Genderswapped Fairy Tales Are Anything But Grimm” via TheMarySue.com

“Shetland Ponies in Cardigan Sweaters” via Gawker:

What have you been reading/watching/listening to?

5 Books, week 6: 5 books I would read again and again

My last 5 books entry! For “5 books I would read again and again,” I decided to only list those books which I have actually read more than once. I am not someone who typically rereads books– it’s just not my style. Come back and see if that’s changed in about fifteen years, but right now there’s too much new stuff to get to! I have a book wish list about a mile long and a to-read list about thirty times that. However, there are exceptions to my rule, as this post indicates. Here they are!

5. Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt

Didn’t everyone read this in middle school, or was that just Mrs. Mac’s sixth grade reading class at LES? Either way, this book is short and sweet and wonderful. (There was actually an entire summer where I watched the movie– literally– at least four or five nights a week.) It has a clear moral and it reads easy. If/when I become a teacher, this is on the list.

4. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

I’ve told you multiple times that the 1949 adaptation is one of my all-time favorite movies, but the book. Oh, the book. I like to say this is the first “chapter book” I read– even though it was the Great Illustrated Classics version. (The actual first chapter book I read? The Fire Pony by Rodman Philbrick. Yeah.) I remember being madly in love with Laurie (and thinking it was weird that his name was my mom’s middle name with an added E) and hating Amy with a passion (I’ve yet to forgive her for what she did to Jo) and wishing desperately that I could live in that era. To this day, I like to think that– out of all of the characters I’ve read– I relate most to Jo March.
On Amazon.com

3. Horseplay by Judy Reene Singer

You probably haven’t heard of this book (well, I know Aunt Susan has), but if you have any place for the equestrian sport in your heart, this book is worth a read. I don’t laugh out loud just about ever while reading; this book is the exception. The main character, who leaves her husband and takes refuge mucking stalls in a working dressage barn, is an absolute hoot! The dressage details are what really make the book for me– as someone who dreams about one day training in the discipline, I really appreciated the little things.
On Amazon.com

2. The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

Okay, I know I said I was only going to list books that I’ve actually read more than once, but what would this post be without an exception? I’ve only read the Harry Potter series once, but I know for a fact that I will read them again. I mean, what Harry Potter fan who even remotely enjoyed the books won’t? J.K. Rowling is brilliant. I’ll be reading The Casual Vacancy this year and I know I’ll be left longing for Hogwarts during/afterward.
On Amazon.com

1. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

I always cite this as my all-time favorite book, so I couldn’t leave it off the list! I first read it in middle school and I absolutely fell in love with Heathcliff; the second read-through, I hated him passionately; the third, it was love again (though I could explain the nuances of my feelings for this fictional character for quite a chunk of time). I “collect” copies– basically, if I see a really cool cover/antique copy/annotated edition, I buy without blinking.
On Amazon.com